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ALERT: Anonymous, philanthropic billionaire seeking to give away free money!!!

Anonymous, philanthropic billionaire is keenly interested in giving away free money. Please submit with your sob-story -- the more irresponsible the better!

Upside down on your house, boat, auto, or auto company? He has a plan to fit all needs. Just submit your essay, in 250 words or less, on why your poor judgment should be considered someone else's problem.

If you do not write or speak English, government translators are waiting at his toll-free 800 number to assist you.

PS - it is not really his money.

PPS - it is not really free.

PPPS - By accepting a check, you rescind all claim to the protections of the Bill of Rights and acknowledge that you may need to make further concessions to your debt-holding Chinese overlords at some point in the future.

Why wait? Spend someone else's money TODAY!!!

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